In my family, success has always come rather high up the scale. Having two siblings who academically over-achieved (and got nothing below an A), and having parents who are both high up in their field has instilled an innate need to be successful. I don’t think its a comparison to my family, I think its more about wanting to be successful, wanting to be happy and wanting to be proud of myself.
But have I become obsessed?
When I talk about success, I don’t necessarily just mean in my career, I have an obsessing with being successful in my whole life; having the most successful relationship, having successful friendships, having a successful session at the gym, having a successful instagram, succeeding in my uni degree…. everything in my life.. I want to be successful in.
The thing that lifts my mood isn’t the bottle of wine in the fridge or the cup of tea that Alex offered to make me, its in the gratification in being successful. Knowing that I have tried my hardest and got the most out of something.
I just always want to be that girl who is KILLING IT.
But at what point do I let myself just live it… not try and KILL IT with everything I do?
Why does my happiness always rely on me being successful and killing things and just generally being successful?
I think its something I need to work on, and sometimes I just need to cut myself some slack because I dont ALWAYS need to be killing it in life. Sometimes its okay to loose a friendship, sometimes its okay to not get the best grade in my class and sometimes its okay to not get a large amount of new followers on instagram.
I need to put my happiness first and I need to accept that success actually comes from being content in myself, and content with who I am. So I guess I am a rather successful person. Well would you look at that.