I was going to title this something about weight or gaining weight because, hey, when we talk about bodies the first thing that springs to everyone’s mind is weight. But after typing out that title I realised something really big- my weight means nothing. I have been a size 6 and I have been a size 14- and I weighed the EXACT SAME. Like maybe 2 or 3 kilos difference. Because the truth is- weight means barely bloody anything and when I am smaller, it’s usually due to exercise, meaning I have more muscle- and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat so weight = nothing.
So without focusing on weight, I wanted to talk about why and how I stopped caring about my belly rolls. And how it’s changed my life.
Everyone has that one area of their body that any fat gain goes straight to, right? Whether it’s your bum, your hips, your handle bars or your belly, we all have one place and we are all very aware of that place. Well anyway for me it’s my belly. I literally will just look at a Yorkie bar and I swear, straight on my belly it goes!
And it used to REALLY affect my confidence.
I never took photos sitting down, and if I did it would always involve a hand over the belly, or a bag or a coat or anything that could hide the rolls. I was always hiding my belly, covering it up with high waisted jeans and baggy jumpers and anything that would distract from the big, pregnant looking belly I was so convinced I had.
But recently my mindset changed.
Shop the post
Boots- Miss Selfridge
Hairband- Urban Outfitters
I shot some pics with Ami (of course) and we took some great snaps which I absolutely LOVED until one image came through. BAM. A sitting down photo showcasing at least 2 dozen rolls hanging over my trousers.
You know that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach you get when you see something you didnt want to see?
But after having my moments of tears, I took a closer look at the image, and you know what I discovered? The thing that I was so fixated on, the thing that was blindly obvious to me was just a tiny fraction of what made that image. I loved my hair in the picture. I loved the outfit I was wearing. I loved the pose I was pulling, the camera angle, the location and the shot. So why was that one tiny detail the thing I focused so heavily on?
Long story short, I posted the photo. With a rather lengthy caption about my insecurities and how silly they must seem. I posted about how it’s to not always look perfect and sometimes not everything on Instagram is what you see.
And my goodness, the positivity I receieved was overwhelming. I may have cried a happy tear or too. But the main thing I took from that is that 1- most people didnt even see the belly rolls until I pointed them out and 2- it’s okay to have them. We are all human and no one really has an ironing board stomach anyway.
So yeah. That made me feel bloody wonderful I wont lie.
Since that day, I have realised that I have cared less and less about my belly rolls- so much so that hiding them no longer comes to mind when I get dressed in the morning. I throw on what I think looks good and hey, if there’s a roll or two then whoever sees me will just have to deal with that.
I now feel so much more comfortable in what I am wearing and am so much more confident to show you the real me. The belly roll me. The normal girl behind the instagram page. And it feels bloody marvellous.
Photography- Ami Ford