Why do I take everything so damn personally?
It’s a question I asked myself the other day after getting upset at a man who yelled at me for wearing sunglasses indoors.
Context of the story- I was wearing my prescription sunglasses and nipped into Primark to pick up a couple of pieces. The man in question then shouted at me from across the store asking ‘who do you think you are’ and ‘you do realise were not in the Caribbean, right love?’
First of all, RUDE. He had no idea that they were prescription and that without them, every item in the store would look like a colourful blur. Second of all, how did he know that I didn’t have an even more serious vision impairment which required me to wear these and THIRD of all, what the hell is it to him what I choose to wear on my face?
Those thoughts all crossed my mind when the man shouted at me, but the main thing that crossed my mind was ‘what did I do to him to make him shout at me like that?’
I actually cannot believe that I BLAMED MYSELF FOR THAT MANS BEHAVIOUR.
I honestly thought that it was my doing that caused him to be so rude, insensitive and a massive twat.
After a few hours being upset, I realised what an idiot I was being and told myself to pull it together.
Then what dawned on me was the realisation of how personally I took this act and, come to think of it, how personally I take every act that I have no control over.
I take everything so damn personally.
And what for? Why do I always assume that it’s my fault, it has something to do with me. When frankly, that’s the most self-centred thing anyone can think.
I think we’re all guilty of it to be perfectly honest. I think we can all put our arms up and say that we’ve had times when we were convinced something was personal/ about us when in actual fact it had less to do with us than it did your uncle’s dog.
Maybe someone has cancelled plans and we immediately assume it’s because they hate us, don’t want to be our friend anymore and are secretly laughing at us behind our backs…. Or maybe they just found out some bad news about a loved one and need time to process.
Maybe a customer assistant was really rude to you when you asked for help and you assume they think you’re being irritating or asking to much…. Or maybe their boss just gave them the bollocking of their life because they forgot to close the till up properly last night.
Maybe your friend has left you on read and you assume that you are the biggest pest and they are in the beginning stages of ghosting you…. Or maybe they just read your text just before the kids came home from school and then completely forgot to reply that evening.
The point is, there’s always two ways to look at a story. So why do we always look at it through the narrowest-tunnel-minded way possible?
We need to stop taking everything so damn personally and realise that everyone has their own little lives with their own sh** to deal with that has absolutely nothing to do with us.